Fellowship or Friendship?

Over and over the question comes to us of fellowship (koinonia, Gemeinschaft) in Christ. With whom shall we find our fellowship? With whom dare we not have fellowship lest we become unequally yoked?

Paul and the first Christians already faced this question - and answered it (2 Corinthians 14-18, Romans 16:17-19, 2 John 7-11, etc.). But the question comes to us from more and more angles today.

Lavern, writing from a small church community in Poland puts it into perspective:

We have certainly learned what it means to struggle together as a team . . . and are seriously interested in drawing together a body of believers who live in commitment to the Lord and each other. We have talked about the need in evangelical churches around us for more accountability and brotherhood. There are Bible study groups and small churches here and there, but most of them don't have much of a sense of commitment to the long haul. And it's certainly not only us Anabaptists who have problems of pettiness and narrow-mindedness! Many of these small groups have some kind of doctrine or application they like to emphasize.

One question we are facing now that I would really appreciate your insight on relates to our relationship with some evangelicals here in our town. Sebastian and Dorota, a Polish couple, arrived here in Minsk the same month we did, also as missionaries. They put us to shame with their earnest desire to see people brought to Christ. They take prayer and fasting very seriously. While we really appreciate their obvious dedication to spreading the simple message of salvation, we don't understand their lack of application of some principles like modest dress, covering for women, and a simple, godly lifestyle.

The issue before us now is that Sebastian and Dorota are planning to show the Jesus film at the town cinema, and they want us to help. They'd like help in passing out leaflets to every household in town (37,000 people) announcing the film, and also to be at the cinema to help organize things. We're finding it hard to decide what we should do in this situation. I can see the value of getting out the message, but we're not comfortable being identified with this method that seems to endorse the entertainment world, even if it is for a good purpose like evangelism. I am interested in your and anyone else's frank opinion on this issue, and I would value your input.

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At one time or another every one of us, no doubt, has felt what Lavern describes: "With what, with whom, should we identify ourselves?" Certainly we do not want to be self-righteous, stand-offish Pharisees. At the same time we cannot call everything okay. What did Jesus do in such circumstances?

Curiously enough, we handled the issue in our open Bible Study tonight. We had visitors from South Dakota, Wisconsin, Canada, and other places over the weekend and the same question comes up time after time.

Our simple conclusion was that we must identify with Jesus Christ - the "real Jesus" of the Sermon on the Mount, of Luke's gospel, and the man that now stands between us and God - at all times. Then much of the rest falls into place. If we stick to Jesus anything and everyone "on a different wavelength" will probably not even want us involved and save us the problem of making these tough decisions.

At the same time, we recognise different levels of fellowship. Christ made friends with sincere men and women everywhere (even with unwanted people and those with bad reputations). We might call this the first degree of fellowship.

Then there were people that professed to be followers of Christ, although they did not belong to his immediate circle (others casting out demons, for instance, in his name). Jesus accepted these for what they were. We might call this the second degree of fellowship.

And finally, Jesus and his disciples shared their daily lives. With these he ate the last supper, broke bread and drank wine together. This is the third, or highest degree of fellowship on earth.

Even though we at Elmendorf have our order, rules, and fellowship, we make no secret of the fact that we consider it local. We will not condemn you, or "disfellowship" you for not belonging to us. We want you to belong to Christ and work things out locally as well. Then, to the degree that we find ourselves "birds of a feather" we will flock together.

We believe fellowship in Christ is a gift that comes to us from heaven - never something we can bring about by coercive argument. Christ wants us to speak the truth in love, like he did.

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Many of us, no doubt, use the term "fellowship" too loosely - in ways the Apostle John would not have used it (see 1 John 1:7). To have real fellowship (Gemeinschaft) one with another means we are prepared to break bread one with another, to share all our possessions one with another, and to have our children marry one another if they so choose.

Anything less than this may simply be called friendship.

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In response to Lavern's letter from Poland, our brother Jorge wrote from Sweden:

I think the main thing is to be firmly rooted in the faith that was once and for all delivered to the saints. This has been the faith of the church throughout the centuries up to the present day. When we are firmly rooted in that faith we are bold and full of confidence and we seek to proclaim it to every heart that is open to receive it. Among the evangelicals (and the same could be actually said of any other group, whether Catholic, Orthodox or Protestant) there are people who have been confused by false shepherds and false doctrine, but their hearts long for the truth. Those hearts will be open to receive it once they hear it preached. That is why I regard the churches here in Sweden as a mission field.

David Petander, who led believers into Christian community in Sweden a hundred years ago, would go wherever there was an open door (whether it was the Salvation Army, the Baptists or any other group) to proclaim the truth. I remember reading that on one occasion (I think it was at the Salvation Army) a lady and another person shared a message during an informal meeting. With sorrow in his voice Petander said something like this after they had talked: "Do not believe there is a single ounce of New Testament faith in what has been said." Then he went on to expose the truth.

I also think of the Swiss Anabaptist Georg Blaurock who would walk into a church service and ask the priest: Are you sure that what you are preaching is the word of God? When the priest hesitated he would say: Come down now, and I will proclaim the word of God. He did and people responded by the thousands. This is what we need today, brothers who are so firmly rooted in the word of God, in the faith delivered to the saints, that they are not afraid of proclaiming it.

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From the Netherlands, our brother Klaas also responded to Lavern's letter:

What a joy to hear of your fellowship together. May holy love burn brightly in your hearts and lives!

While reading Lavern's letter, I pondered over the life we long to live for Christ. We in the Netherlands also face struggles as to what we should, and what we should not do in Christian activities organized by others. The easiest response is to refrain from any contact with those who have other practices or teaching. Christ, however, showed us his warm, compassionate heart toward each individual, except the critical and hypocritical scribes and Pharisees.

So must we go along with all activities?

A haughty 'better than thou' attitude will do nothing else than cause heartache and a great distance to those who organize things we do not feel happy with. Are we then "forced" to participate? I don't think so. If our apprehension stems from a true longing to glorify the Lord, we should not go ahead.

On the other hand, we should not retreat from others, but explain carefully why we feel we should not cooperate. I remember hearing about a request from a big evangelistic organisation holding a campaign in Switzerland quite some time ago. All churches and fellowships were contacted with the request to join hands. A group of believers did not feel this would be the right thing to do, and wrote in response. But in the same letter they mentioned prayer meetings that would be held for the furthering of the gospel during the campaign. A friendly thank-you from the organisation was the result.

May the Lord give mercy and love in these difficult decisions!